time to paint

Hello, friends!  How are things in your worlds?

I wanted to write to tell you that I'm painting again!  I'm taking my first ever e-course right now, and I'm really enjoying myself.  It's been seriously fantastic to get my paints out, get messy, and have fun being creative.  I haven't really done that since before little miss was born.  Crazy that it's been so long.  It feels really good to intentionally spend time being creative each day.  I don't know that I would have done it if I didn't have this class as a reason to focus and make the time. 

Painting and being creative, being myself - it all feels God-honoring to me.  One, because God is the source of all creativity, and, two, because it's part of who He's created me to be.  And I'm embracing that part of myself - not hiding from it or ignoring it.

All of my old fears and insecurities popped up again as I started to paint.  What if this isn't right?  What if it's not as good as everyone else's?  What if it's been too long since I've painted?  What if, what if, what if?  A friend of mine told me all the fears come because this is my heart.  Painting, drawing, art, creating - it's my heart.  And doing it, and ESPECIALLY sharing it with others is vulnerable for me.  So the fears creep in.  And she's right.  I've dealt with all of this already, in the past - am I really surprised all the doubt would resurface again?  It always does when we share the truest parts of ourselves, our hearts, doesn't it?

So what do I do?  I remind myself of the Truth.  I remind myself that I'm not what I produce - I'm not the end product.  My value and worth are not tied up in whether someone likes or resonates with my art.  I remind myself to play, have fun, create, express myself, be messy, be MYSELF, make mistakes, keep going... and it's good, friends.

While my sweet girl naps, I'm going to go have fun playing with my art supplies and being creative.  Is there something in you, in your life, that brings you joy, that's part of the very core of who you are?  Music, writing, sewing, gardening, cooking?  Are you making time to honor that part of you?  Of who God created you to be?  I'd encourage you to make the time today - this week - over the weekend - to nurture and express that part of you.  It will be a gift to you.  To God.  To the world.  I really believe that.

Perhaps I'll share some photos of my newest work next time.  Until then, much love, dear ones!

up to date

Wow.  It's been a year and a half since I've posted on my blog.  Not so coincidentally, it's been about a year and a half since my little one was born.  I originally started this blog after moving back to Michigan from Texas.  I had planned on using it to post photos of life in the mitten state for friends back in Austin to see.  Once I started pursuing my dream of being a self-employed artist, this blog became a place for me to post about my artwork, my life, and my relationship with God.  Clearly blogging has never been an easy thing for me or one of my strong suits.  Even when I was doing my best to keep this thing updated, my posts were sporadic at best.  Life always seemed to happen, and living my life always seemed to take priority over writing about it here.  There have been moves, and new jobs, a baby, goodbyes, and loss.  Life.  I'm always super impressed by my friends (and strangers) who can do both.  Who can live the daily ups and downs of life, and seamlessly write about it on their blog with beautiful words and gorgeous, amazing, Photoshop-perfected pictures.  That's just not me.  I realize that in this technologically focused/saturated/crazy world, this might be seen as a negative thing - especially if and/or when the time comes and I begin to focus on selling my art and "getting it out there" again.  I guess we'll cross that bridge when we come to it.  For now, I just want to be honest about the fact that my posts will, most likely, continue to be as random (time and content-wise), as they've always been.  Perhaps, with a healthy dose of pics or ramblings about motherhood thrown in for good measure.  Because that's where I am in life right now.  I haven't created new artwork in... I, honestly, don't even know.  Since before our little miss was born, that's for sure.  And the creative part of me is aching to come out - to play with paint and paper and charcoal... oh just thinking about it makes me happy!  But becoming a mother has been a never ending string of lessons.  And the one I'm finally figuring out (I think), is that it's time for me to honor all parts of who God created me to be again.  Not just the "mama" part - as fantastic and wonderful as that piece of my being is.  So I've pulled out the art supplies.  They're in a huge pile in our back room, or "Spare Oom," as we lovingly refer to it.  Nothing is organized.  It's kind of a huge mess, actually.  But it's a start.  A place to start.  I love a new beginning, don't you?  And each day - each moment - we can have one.  Such possibility.
ALL of this to say, really, that this is where I am these days.  A lover of Jesus, a wife to Rick, a mother to Annaliese, an artist, and so much more...  And, perhaps, in the midst of all of this, I'll find my way back to this blog, to share my life with you.  I really hope to.
In the meantime, I hope this post finds you well, and that you are honoring who God has created YOU to be.
Much love to you, dear ones.